


Loser Say What?

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-08
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:58:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is still new to the team when Roque crosses the line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loser Say What?

Pooch sauntered up to the old pick-up truck and saw Jensen sitting on the tailgate, swinging his legs. He sat down next to him, mechanic’s mind noting how the suspension creaked under the added weight. “You’ve gotta stop giving Roque ammo, man.”

Jensen scrubbed both of his palms over his face and rubbed his bloodshot eyes under his glasses. “Any resemblance between Roque and a human being is purely coincidental. Hasn’t that breadknife touting rhino heard of don’t ask, don’t tell?”

Pooch clapped Jensen on the back. “You’re way past tellin’.”

“I can’t help...”

Pooch barked a laugh and bumped shoulders with Jensen. He had a soft spot for the newest member of their team. Jensen was old enough to serve in this man’s army, but that didn’t mean he was much more than a boy. “That, I know. In this case it’s not tellin’, it’s showing.”

“It’s not like I carry around a big sign that says I like to suck ‘n’ fuck with Cougar...”

Pooch made a choking sound. “You sort of do. Listen, I know under all of your bravado, you do give a shit.”

“I don’t give a shit what Roque thinks. No man calls me a fag and-”

“He won’t do it, again.” Pooch promised and glanced down at his Jensen’s boots, noticing the droplets of Roque’s blood mixed with the dust. “If you hadn’t taken care of it, then we would’ve.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Most of the time, yeah,” Pooch agreed. “And, listen, when I said about not giving Roque ammo, I wasn’t talking about the whole-” He coughed a little and made a vague hand gesture. “Thing. Whatever you and Cougar do is your business as long as it doesn’t mess with the team or the mission. The way I see it, Cougar is far less sociopathic with you around.”

“Then what in the hell are you talking about?”

“You’ve gotta stop giving Roque ammo to get to you. He’s like a shark with blood. If he sniffs out a drop of true vulnerability, he’ll hone on it like the mother fuckin’ predator he is. It’s a tough, crappy lesson you need to learn as a solider.”

“Is Clay going to kick me off the team for messing with his second-in-command?”

“Messin’ with?” Pooch whistled low under his breath. “If that’s your definition of messin’ with, then I’d hate to see what you do to a man when you-”

“Fuck him up more ways than a barrel full of rabid monkeys with rusty razor blades and little red fezzes? Oh, and maybe with tiny lil’ cymbals, thought that’ll make it hard for them to hold the razor blades.”

Pooch rolled his eyes. “Sure, that’d do.”

“Or, a shed full of horny nymphos forced to dress as nuns and be celibate, with grenades so that-”

“Okay… moving on now. I haven’t seen anyone, and I mean anyone do that kind of damage with a laptop. I never knew a screen could shatter that way and...” Pooch shuddered, thinking how after laying a beating on Roque, Jensen had come within a few millimetres of giving Roque an unwanted circumcision. “I’m not sure if it’s good or bad news, but Clay says Roque’s not likely to lose his left nut.”

Jensen smirked. “Not likely? I’m thinking his new code name should be Eunuch.”

“Not likely because Clay might have medic training, but he personally told Roque that he was lucky he didn’t lose both to gangrene. He still might stumble upon some enforced misfortune Clay-style if he steps out of line again. Plus, Clay had a little talk to him.”

“What did Clay say to him?”

“No idea, but I never thought I’d see a fellow brother turn so goddamn pale so quickly.” Pooch snickered and showed Jensen a picture he took with his cell phone. The kid was the second one to see it after Pooch sent it to Jolene. “This wasn’t your fault, okay? You just corrected the asshole the only way he understands. Hard and violent. I can guarantee that Roque’s the one in Clay’s bad books, not you. He’s probably on probation. Again.”

Jensen’s tone was soft and uncertain. “For calling me a-”

“Hey.” Pooch cuffed Jensen upside the back of his head. “You won’t let dickwad call you that, so I sure as hell ain’t going to let you call yourself that bullshit.”

Jensen could hear his father’s gruff voice ringing in the back of his head. “I brought this on myself.”

“No, you didn’t. For all the mess Roque pulls, this is different. Clay puts up with a lot from him. They have a complicated thing of their own and history, but this is different. This is past the friendly ribbin’ and lip flappin’ we do. It’d be no different if he went after my Jolene. Some things you just don’t touch.”

“You can’t tell Cougar.”

Their team-mate was out doing recon and was due back in a few hours. To say he was going to be pissed was a serious understatement. Cougar had a protective streak as wide as the Grande Canyon after an earthquake when it came to Jensen.

“Oh, kid. There’s no need to tell him,” Pooch responded. “I’m sure with that spooky shit he’s got, he’s going to know. What’s left of Roque better head for high ground.”

“I can take care of myself,” Jensen repeated with a sigh.

“Ya know, that’s what Jolene says. I’ve seen her take down three skanks with brick-lined purses and her ham-faced ex-boyfriend. That being said, it didn’t stop me from tracking said ex down and laying waste to his SUV with a baseball bat just for fun. Jolene said it was better than flowers.”

Jensen bit his bottom lip and considered Pooch. This was the real Jensen that was slowly, but surely coming out. The kid who only wanted to be accepted was as just a part of Jensen as the loud, weird side of him. Jensen had freaked all of them out when he first joined the team and that was saying a lot since they specialized in freaky... well, dangerous, insane, and freaky. Jensen had been like a goddamn chameleon, changing personalities more quickly than Pooch changed socks. He watched the kid carefully monitor Cougar, searching to see what Cougar wanted and wanting to give it to him. For all of his bravado, it was tough for Jensen to accept that the sniper actually wanted the real him. Pooch found that hard to believe considering Cougar clearly had it bad for the kid. They really were made for one another since Cougar’s stalker habits and stoic silence were apparently a turn on for Jensen. Clay and Cougar were working in cahoots, trying to focus Jensen’s nervous energy, genius, and chameleon abilities for the benefit of the team in the field. The transformation professionally was pretty damn cool and Jensen got the job done despite, or maybe, because of the goofing around.

Sitting like this with his shoulders slumped and head down, Jensen didn’t look like one of the Losers. He was every inch the scared and self-loathing eighteen year old kid he was.

Jensen picked at a rust patch on the truck with his fingertip. “You’re lucky to have Jolene.”

“She’s a crazy bitch, but she’s my crazy bitch,” Pooch snorted, already planning out his next phone call to his lady. “You’ve gotta be crazy to love a Loser.”

Jensen’s shoulders slumped a little more with the mention of love. “We’ll be going back stateside for the first time since I joined the team soon.”

“Yeah, we are. I’m itching to see her, but I’m not going to let you switch subjects, bro.”

“I was soft and Roque saw it. I get it.”

Pooch smacked Jensen upside the back of the head once more. He did a lot of that lately. “That’s not what I said.”

“You said I showed vulnerability-”

“You did, but I didn’t mean it like that. There’s no shame in being who and what you are. I was saying that Roque is sniffing out that you’re ashamed and you can’t be. Sure, we’ve got to rely on each other, but at the end of the day, you’ve got to know... “ He tapped his own chest over his heart. “You’ve gotta feel that you’re king shit. We’re here because we’re the best and bat-shit crazy enough to get the job done.” Pooch squinted and sighed, realizing he wasn’t giving the best pep talk. In fact this was numbering up there with his top worst three pep talks. It was right up there with the time he tried to give a pep talk to Clay after Jensen got into the superglue again and proved you can superglue not only your fingers together for the fifth time, but also your team-mate’s ears to his head. It might be one of the reason Roque didn’t like Jensen since it was his ears. “Does that make any sense at all?”

Jensen shrugged. “I guess.”

“I like you, kid. That’s no bullshit. You’re one hell of a teammate and I like to think we’re friends. See, we’re all scared of something. Me, I’m scared of losing Jolene.” He flipped to a picture of her on his cell phone and held it up for Jensen to admire. The woman certainly was gorgeous and feisty if her giving Pooch the finger in the image was any clue. “She’s my fucking sanity. That woman is going to be the mother of my children. I’d die if I lost her. The thing is, you’ve gotta face that fear and know it’s just not going to happen because we’re the mother fuckin’ Losers.” Pooch laid his arm on Jensen’s shoulders, giving him a brotherly squeeze. It didn’t escape him that Jensen craved intimacy and physical touch of all kinds. Someone had seriously fucked with Jensen and for some reason, he tied intimacy, even the platonic kind, to some sort of price. “You’re a Loser, kid. You want to tell me what’s going through that scary head of yours?”

“We’re going stateside.”

“For some badly needed downtime. You gonna visit your family?” The minute flinch at the mention of his family didn’t escape Pooch’s keen attention. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the kid’s insecurities were rooted in his family.

“I’ve got a sister, but my old man doesn’t want me hanging around her. If he finds out she’s seen me, then he’ll cut her off and she can’t afford to go to college on her own.”

“How about Cougar?”

The silence was telling. Jensen was never silent. Pooch might have rung a gong. Whatever shit-storm Roque had started hit a maelstrom of insecurities and anxiety in the team’s youngest member.

“Cougs is a ladies man,” Jensen mumbled.

“Cougs is a man’s man, too. What’s this all about?”

“Being in the field is one thing. I’m convenient. Back stateside, Cougar will-”

“Whoa, whoa...” Pooch’s mind was reeling. Jensen actually believed that Cougar was just messing with him because he was an easy fuck. Jensen was more messed up than he thought. If he couldn’t see that Cougar was crazy mad in love with him, then Cougar needed to do some serious rethinking. Pooch pinched the bridge of his nose. “Cougs isn’t like that.”

Jensen’s head was still hanging low and he risked a sideways glance. “Cougs is...” He smiled with no hint of a smirk and more than shadow of the hero worship that still lingered. “Cougar is epic.”

“I’m sensing a but.”

Jensen took a deep breath. “But, the man’s slumming. I just have to learn to take it like a man, oh not like that... I mean, I do, but you don’t want to know that. I meant I’ve got to suck it up, oh... I did it again. Really, I don’t mean to do whole gay innuendo thing, I swear. I respect your whole hetero-ness as a state of being and I’m seriously afraid of Jolene even though I’ve never met her. But, without the innuendo, I need to suck it up and take it like man metaphorically that it’s inevitable that Cougar is going to sleep with women. I’m surprised it’s lasted this long and call me a sucker, sorry... sorry, I can’t help it, but call me a romantic, but I’ll take whatever Cougar’s willing to give me.”

Pooch’s mouth gaped open a little. He was pretty certain that Jensen hadn’t taken one breath during the whole rant. His head was swimming trying to comprehend how messed up Jensen was and it was hard to comprehend that someone with such a big heart and blessed with the capacity to forgive, had no faith in himself.

“Dude, are you done?”

“No.” Jensen shook his head. “Don’t tell Cougar, please. I shouldn’t have told you anything. I’m such a big mouth. That was an innuendo, even though I don’t have gag reflex-”

“Seriously?” Pooch sputtered.

“Oh, yeah, I can take-” Jensen held up his hands to demonstrate said girth and length.

“That was a comment, not a question. Too much information. It’s bad enough that I know you’re a screamer.” Pooch held up his palm flat to silence the younger man. “Don’t make me bring up Lima.”

A blush rose to Jensen’s cheeks. “You promised you won’t bring up Lima.”

“No, Clay ordered us never to bring up Lima again.” Pooch clapped Jensen on his shoulder. “You’re a kinky bastard. Say, did that burn from the dog tag chain ever heal up?”

“Yeah, Jolene told me baby powder would help with the chaffing.”

“She what? How in the hell-”

“Oh, she emailed me. Apparently, she likes to keep tabs on the team. Don’t worry, Clay told me all about it... oh, crap. I wasn’t supposed to tell you about that, was I? It’s one of those unspoken rules that’s only unspoken around you to protect your ego, I guess.”

Pooch scratched the back of his neck. “My poor ego took more than one beating with that girl.”

“She told me to tell you to email your mother. It’s her birthday on Tuesday and she got a card, signed your name, and sent her a bouquet of daisies.”

“Right…”

“She also wanted to me to tell you...” Jensen raised his tone to a falsetto and waggled his finger at Pooch. “You’d better not be eating spicy food Linwood because if I find out your ulcer is flaring up, you’ll be eating baby food and sleeping on the couch because I’m not putting up with your stinky gas.”

Pooch groaned, surprised at how Jensen managed to get Jolene’s intonation down. “Don’t ever do that again.”

Jensen raised a single eyebrow. “Linwood?”

“That’s what my mama named me. My girl can call me whatever she wants and she does. That’s the least insulting of many interesting names.”

“Poochie?”

“Don’t you…”

Pooch watched as Jensen’s demeanour changed instantly. Jensen shivered and smiled, then looked anxious. Cougar appeared like a ghost a few seconds later with his weird ninja skills, stepping silently from the brush. Jensen had always known when Cougar was close even before the others knew he was there.

By the grim appearances of the sniper, he knew something had gone wrong. Even though Cougar’s hat was pulled customarily low on his head, Pooch could see his lips pulled into a tight thin line and grim expression. He zeroed straight in on Jensen, prowling straight towards him and Pooch knew he’d better back off. Pooch slipped off the tailgate and backed up, swearing he could hear Cougar growling. Jensen was frozen in place as Cougar started to check him over, zeroing in on the wounds Roque had inflicted.

“Hey, Cougar. How was the jungle? Was it very jungley? Did you have fun humping through the bush, that wasn’t innuendo, Pooch. I’m getting the whole army lingo and that phrase used to be used back in Vietnam… ow!” Jensen squirmed as a Cougar’s finger danced around his bruised ribs. “Okay, okay, they’re a little tender.”

Cougar pressed in between the ribs, seeing if they were broken.

“They’re not broken,” Jensen whined. Cougar pinned him with a piercing stare. “They’re not wrapped, I know. I hate wrapping them. I can’t play my games. I can’t breathe or move the way I want to…”

Cougar cocked his head to the side, laying his palm flat over Jensen’s side.

“Fine,” Jensen sighed and licked his lip. “I’ll let you wrap them later.”

Cougar strummed his fingers gently.

“I’m fine,” Jensen tried to convince the other in the one-sided conversation.  
Pooch put his hands up in the universal ‘it wasn’t me’ gesture and backed up towards the path that led to their camp. “You need to talk to your boy.”

“Because he’s known for his chattiness,” Jensen piped up nervously. When Cougar pinned him with another stare, he laughed until it broke off in a snort. “Sarcasm is just one more service I offer?”

“Take care of him, Cougs. If you need anything, let me know.” With Cougar’s wave, Pooch knew that he was being dismissed and Cougar didn’t blame him for what happened. He left them to their private moment and went off to call Jolene and try to convince her he was eating a well balanced diet, not too gassy, and not to believe anything Jensen told her.

Cougar made unhappy noises the entire time he finished cataloguing the bruises, cuts, and busted knuckles. Shifting between Jensen’s thighs, Cougar crowded closer to Jensen who was still sitting on the tailgate. He wrapped one arm around his lower back and the other around his shoulder.

He laid his cheek against Jensen’s and whispered, “Miejo.”

“Carlos.”

With the endearment, Jensen all but melted against Cougar. The tension and adrenaline coursing through his body began to give way. He grabbed onto his lover, hand gripping Cougar’s dusty clothing and long legs wrapping around Cougar’s slender waist.

“Roque called me a fag,” Jensen confessed, his voice cracking at the nasty insult. He tightened his hold on Cougar, begging silently for him to stay close and not go to kill Roque. “I didn’t react well.”

Cougar kissed him gently, pouring out all of his love and concern into the action.

“I can take care of myself,” Jensen whispered when they pulled away.

Cougar gently grabbed his chin and ran his thumb over Jensen’s cheek. “I know.”

“My dad used to call me that,” Jensen confessed. “He called my sister ‘sweetie’ but he’d call me ‘dirty little faggot’. It’s more than a sore point for me.”

Cougar’s entire body language screamed he was on edge and his eyes were intense. He was already making plans.

“You can’t kill either of them.” Jensen chuckled and sniffled, laying his head on Cougar’s shoulder. “Though I appreciate the offer.”

Cougar made a huffing noise.

“No, you can’t torture them, either.”

Cougar made a displeased noise in the back of his throat and kissed Jensen’s neck.

“Okay, maybe a little bit. Especially, Roque right now. He’ll be walking a little funny the next time you see him. That was me.”

“Good boy,” Cougar praised and nipped behind his ear.

“I’ve been thinking about it. Pooch told me we all have a weakness and we’re all afraid of something. Jolene’s his. Roque was maybe overcompensating or something. The whole gay thing was a little too much of a sore point for him, if you ask me. I think he might have a thing for Clay… this whole unrequited epic big gay love so he lashed out at me. Too close to home.”

The words tumbled out in a confession and stream of consciousness that Cougar had come to expect in their time together. He let Jensen continue to talk and laid his lips against Jensen’s skin, offering what comfort he could. Silently, he offered up a prayer to the Blessed Virgin for both of thing. Something had been brewing deep inside the boy and hopefully now it was slipping out.

“You probably don’t want to hear this, but like it or not, you’re mine Cougar. I know it’s only been a few months, but I haven’t… we haven’t talked about it, but you’re pretty much it for me. You had me back in that alley.” Jensen made a noise that was half laugh and half hiccup, burying his face against Cougar’s neck. The man’s familiar smell was comforting and grounded him. “God, you were so hot. All badass swagger and you’ve put up with me ever since. You’re the only one who’s ever done that. But, I know most people would run screaming into the deep, dark night from me. Even a patient man like you needs a break, I get that. We’re going stateside soon… I wanted you to know that I know that you know that you’ll want to do what you’ve gotta do, but you’ve got to know that I’m okay with that. You don’t have to worry about me though. I don’t want that. I’m fine with whatever you want to give me. I just wanted you to know that I…” Jensen’s squeezed his eyes shut tight to fight the tears that were fighting to come up. “Cougs, just don’t leave me. You can fuck whoever you want, just… please…”

“Shhh…” Cougar crooned and held Jensen in his arms. He knew Jensen was a mess of insecurity and bundle of issues. Guilt seeped up that he should have tried harder to calm those fears and he wished words were easier for him. His heart ached that Jensen would be willing to put up with that, but also that Jensen thought he was capable of that. “There’s just you, miejo. Always and only you.”

“But…”

“No but.” Cougar shook him gently. “You’re worth it. I don’t want anyone else. No chica or man. Just you.” He ran his hand over Jensen’s hair, loving that the buzz cut was growing out just a little bit. Cougar struggled to find the words that would reach Jensen and he knew it was time to speak the truth. It was a barely a whispered when he confessed, “Te amo.”

“You do?”

Cougar nodded his throat locking up. He had promised himself after losing his family that he would never let anyone get that close. It wasn’t worth the risk. But, he couldn’t let Jensen keep hurting like this. The messed up young man clinging to him was worth the risk though.

“Oh.” Jensen sounded surprised and slightly lost. As if he was stunned that someone was capable of loving him.

No amount of reassuring words or actions could repair the damage done by his bastard of a father. Cougar realized it was going to be a long, difficult path with Jensen as a partner. “Where you go, I go. Si?”

“Yes. But, if you-”

“No but,” Cougar sighed. “Pick some place stateside. Some place you want to see and we’ll go.”

“Oh.” Jensen’s smile was hopeful and made Cougar wonder at this young man’s capacity to love and forgive, despite all the shit he had been through. He shivered thinking about the trouble Jensen could have gotten into if he had fallen in with someone who would have taken advantage of that. Jensen only wanted to be accepted and loved, willing to do anything to get that. Cougar only wanted him to start believing in himself. “I’ve always wanted to…” His smiled disappeared and he shook his head. “Sorry, I forget you don’t want to be tied to a kid. It’s a dumb idea.”

“Anything.”

“When I was a kid, I used to watch the Mickey Mouse Club with my sister when I had television privileges. It wasn’t that often, ‘cause I was always getting into trouble. Most of my life I got in trouble so much that I was reduced to a sleeping bag with no mattress or toys in my room... or my closet, depending on bad I was, or the garage. I learned how to peel a pound of potatoes by the time I was five years old. Anyways, the Mickey Mouse Club… I don’t suppose you’d let me go to the most magical place on earth?”

It was the ‘let’ part of the conversation that twigged with Cougar. He started to pull away and Jensen instantly panicked.

“I’m sorry. It was a stupid idea. We don’t have to-”

Cougar framed Jensen’s face with both his hands and kissed him again, trying to stop the heart wrenching tirade. “Shhh. I don’t let you do anything. You’re a man. Your own man… a strong, good man. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, especially yourself. You’re your own worst enemy.”

Jensen gifted Cougar with a crooked mile. “I’m a fucked up mess.”

“My fucked up mess.” Cougar laid one palm flat over Jensen’s heart. “I like the real you.”

Jensen’s brow furrowed in confusion. “But, I don’t even like the real me. I could be whatever… whoever you want me to be.”

Cougar couldn’t come up with any words to respond to that. He went with what felt natural and he stared straight into Jensen’s eyes. He tried to convey everything he couldn’t say…

I want to kill Roque and your father for hurting you… It hurts me to see you hurt… I want to help you, but I don’t know how to help you… I don’t deserve the devotion you give me… I love the real you…

With no fear Jensen touched the brim of Cougar’s hat and his hand moved to Cougar’s ponytail, gently tugging on it. “It’s like we’re both blind and stumbling around in a room full of broken glass, knives, and grenades with the pins pulled, but we’re doing it together and we’re both trying.” He gently held onto Cougar’s ponytail, running the long hair through his fingers. “This has been a pretty girly conversation.”

Cougar huffed and nipped the delicious little spot of skin where Jensen’s neck met his shoulder. “I’m going to do dirty things to you. You’re going to be loud, miejo. Very loud.”

“You dirty bastard,” Jensen groaned and rubbed up against Cougar. “I like it… good plan. Great plan. Wondrous plan. Oh. Do that again… no man should be able to do that with his tongue. I probably should tell you I might’ve set up a nasty surprise for Roque when he’s back stateside.”

Cougar made an angry sound in the back of this throat.

“You don’t want to know. It’ll be better if it’s a surprise. I may have redirected his pay to support several pro-Gay causes, but that’s just the right thing to do. Don’t worry, there’s no way to trace the other stuff back to me and the gay porn spam is just the icing on the cake… nothing as mundane as sending it to him, but you’d be surprised what you can do with right software. He’s going to be getting fan mail for months!” Cougar growled again and groped at him in a way that was very, very clear Cougar didn’t want Jensen talking about Roque while they were doing this. “Right, sorry. Loser say what? What! ‘Cause I’m a loser in every sense of the way… a loser and one of Clay’s Losers.”

Cougar did something with his hand that shut Jensen up with a gurgling sound.

END.


End file.
